Ibn `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: `Uthman ibn Mazh`un passed away and left a daughter whose mother was Khawlah bint Hakim ibn Umayyah ibn Harithah and guardianship was given to his brother Qudamah ibn Mazh`un. `Abdullah said: They are my uncles. I asked the hands of `Uthman in Mazh`un's daughter from Qudamah ibn Mazh`un who agreed. Al Mughirah ibn Shu`bah tempted her mother with money and she inclined to him. In turn, the girl inclined to her mother's opinion and both refused the marriage until their matter was submitted to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). Qudamah ibn Mazh`un said: O Messenger of Allah, I was given the custody of my niece and I gave her hand in marriage to her cousin. I did not oppress her in regard of the groom's righteousness or competence, but she is a grown up woman and she inclined to her mother's opinion. `Abdullah said: Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “She is an orphan and cannot be married except with her consent.” `Abdullah said: She was taken away from me after I had taken her in marriage and married her to Al Mughirah ibn Shu`bah. [Reported by Ahmad and Ad-Daraqutny].
Dear guardians: Forcing a girl to marry someone she does not like is a cause in building a disconnected family, full of problems, and shall be a burden on the Muslim community.
The issue of inclination and consent with a spouse is a basic rule for establishing a new firm Muslim family by the will of Allah. This matter was established by the Messenger (peace be upon him) where he said: "Souls are troops collected together and those who familiarized with each other (in the heaven from where these come) would have affinity, with one another (in the world) and those amongst them who opposed each other (in the Heaven) would also be divergent (in the world)." [Reported by Muslim].
Imam An-Nawawy (may Allah bestow mercy on his soul) said in his commentary of Sahih Muslim: The meaning of the Prophet's saying: "Souls are troops collected together and those who familiarized with each other (in the heaven from where these come) would have affinity, with one another (in the world) and those amongst them who opposed each other (in the Heaven) would also be divergent (in the world)." Scholars said: Souls are either similar or different. As for their collection, it is for something destined by Allah.
It was said: It is the harmony of qualities between two persons.
It was said: Because they were created collected then separated in different bodies, so if someone's traits are in harmony with another person, he would like him and if traits are different, they will not like each other.
Money and high-standard are from the qualifications of a righteous husband which a girl considers in marriage but she does not find him the husband with whom she will comfort and harmony. All these qualifications are recognized by the Lawgiver, where Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife [Hawwa (Eve), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." [Surat Al A`raf: 189].
So marriage is tranquility, intimacy, harmony, and stability which seems to be successful or not from the very beginning, so do not ignore it.
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