Perfect Care that Islam paid to Family

Khateeb’s Name: Sheykh Saalih ibn Fawzaan Al-Fawzaan

 

First Khutbah

My fellow Muslim, fear Allaah The Almighty, fulfill what He The Exalted has enjoined you, avoid what He The Exalted prohibited you, thank Him for the graces He The Exalted has conferred upon you for He The Exalted promised the good end for those who fear Him most and to grant more graces to those who are grateful.

O Servants of Allaah, it is well known that society is formed from family, family is formed from individuals exactly such as the building that is formed from structure and bricks. The more the structure and bricks are strong, the more the building will be great tower and strong fort. The same actually applies to the human society that can be good if its individuals and families that form it are good. That is because the Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him, likened the Muslim society to the structure that parts of which support other parts and to the one body that if one part of it complains, the rest of the body feels pain for it. Therefore, Islam gave intensive and perfect care to the matter of forming and improving of the Muslim family. And because forming any family starts from connection between male and female via marriage, it enjoined to choose the righteous husband and wife. In this regard, the Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessing be upon him, said: "If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.” [Reported by At-Tirmithi who deemed it Hasan (good) Hadeeth]

In the previous Hadeeth, the Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him, ordered us to marry our female relative who is under our care to the one  whose religious commitment and attitude pleases us. This really indicates that it is not permissible to accept the one who is not religiously committed and has a bad character. The above Hadeeth urges us to choose the good husband and put such religious requirements into our consideration. In spite of this fact, many guardians do not pay heed to such matter when getting his female relative in marriage. They do not choose for her the man which the Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessing be upon him, instructed about; however, they choose the one whom they like, even if he is not religiously committed and has a bad character and there is no interest for the woman to marry him. We have observed many problems of the women who fell into the bad choice. One of them says: "I was afflicted with a husband that does no pray." Another woman says: "My husband drinks alcohol and takes drugs." A third says: "Her husband ordered her to make a wanton display (Sufoor) of her beauty and charms to non-Mahram  men and throw out Hijaab ." A fourth says: "Her husband has anal intercourse and intercourse with her during the daytime of Ramadhaan, during her menstrual period or not in the place that Allaah The Almighty has made lawful." A fifth says: "Her husband does not sleep with her because he stays awake with the bad people." The one who is responsible for that is her guardian who made a bad choice for her and betrayed the trust . Also, he is the responsible for the corruption of her and her offspring due to the husband he deceived her with.

As Islam urged choosing the righteous husband, it also urged choosing the righteous wives. It was narrated on the authority of ‘Amr ibn Al-‘Aas, may Allaah be pleased with them, that the Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessing be upon him, said: “This world is transient comforts, and the best of the comforts of this world is a righteous woman.” [Reported by Muslim]

Moreover, it was narrated on the authority of Abu Sa‘eed Al-Khudri, may Allaah be pleased with them, that the Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessing be upon him, said: “Women may be married for four things: their beauty, their wealth, their good character, and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed and of good character, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may your prosper).”  [Reported by Ahmad with a sound Isnaad (i.e. chain of narrators) and by Ibn Hibaan in his book As-Saheeh]

It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurairah, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessing be upon him, said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may your prosper).” [Reported by Al-Bukhaari and Muslim], meaning that one should choose the righteous wife, regardless of the other considerations such as lineage, wealth and beauty while having no religious commitment.

It was narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr, may Allaah be pleased with them, that the Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessing be upon him, said: “Do not marry women for their good looks, as their beauty might destroy them; and do not marry them for their wealth as their riches might lead them to be overbearing. Marry them for their religion; and a black and unattractive maid who is religious, is better [than them both].”[Reported by Ibn Maajah]

This Hadeeth indicates that religion in woman covers any other defects in her, unlike wealth and beauty without religion for they cause many problems. However, if religion, beauty and the like of the other attributes of perfection are gathered together in a woman, then this really will be the perfect grace. In other words, any shortcoming can be overlooked except the lack of religion.

After consummating marriage, Islam commands observing good treatment between spouses. From this point, we come to realize the great attention Islam paid to the matter of choosing spouses, because it is the main pillar of the family and thus if it is good, the whole family will be good, Allaah Willing and its attention to keep the righteous wife.

After such stage in forming the family i.e. the stage of choosing spouses, Islam pays much attention to educate well the children who are born to such spouses. It enjoins parents to raise up their children on righteousness and avoiding corruption saying:  “Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack them if they do not do it when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.”  

It also enjoins them to treat their children justly in gifts. It prohibited the parents to give some of their children and deny the others because this causes enmity between them and separation that disintegrate the family and destroy its structure. It was narrated that An-Nu’maan ibn Basheer, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “My father gave me a gift of some of his wealth, but my mother, ‘Amrah bint Rawaahah, said, ‘I will not approve of it until you ask the Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessing be upon him, to bear witness to it.’ So my father went to the Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him, to ask him to bear witness to the gift. The Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessing be upon him, said to him, ‘Have you done the same for all of your children?’ He said, ‘No.’ He, peace and blessing be upon him, said, ‘Fear Allaah and treat your children justly.’ So my father came back and took back that gift.” [Reported by Muslim]

The Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him, encouraged us to bring up righteous children and give them good education saying: "The best thing a parent can give to their child is good education and manners." [Reported by At-Tirmithi]

It was narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with them, that the Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him, said: “Honor your children, and bring them up well.” [Reported by Ibn Maajah]

As Allaah The Almighty ordered parents to bring up their children, treating them kindly, educate them to be righteous, He The Exalted ordered children to be grateful for their parents and observe dutifulness to them, especially when they advance in years. In this regard, Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small."} [Quran 17: 23-24] 

Allaah The Almighty ordered parents to spend and treat their children in good terms during their tender age and weakness. At the same time, He the Exalted ordered children to spend and be dutiful to their parents during their old ages and weakness. This really manifests clearly the solidarity and cooperation among the individuals of the Muslim family regarding the financial aspect. There is also another form of solidarity and cooperation among them on something more important and beneficial in this life and the life to come i.e. cooperation on Al¬-Birr and At¬-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety). This can be fulfilled through commanding what is good and forbidding what is bad among the individual of the one family. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones.} [Quran 66: 6] 

Allaah The Almighty commanded the believers to protect themselves and those who are under their authority from the hellfire that nothing can save one from it except doing righteous deeds, avoiding prohibitions and cooperation on piety and righteousness. As one should be keen on saving himself, he should be keen on saving others of his relatives and fellow Muslims. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And enjoin As-Salat (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [i.e. the Salat (prayers)].} [Quran 20: 132]

This verse indicates that the guardian of the family should bear the responsibility of commanding his family to observe prayer and the like of other duties and avoiding sins and prohibitions. This includes adopting the means of goodness in houses such as education, disciplining, commanding what is good and forbidding what is evil, and keeping away the means of evil in houses such as evil amusements and all bad manifestations. That is because houses are the places of the meeting of the family and its members. Therefore, they should be Islamic houses that based on piety and righteousness and free from all what can goes against Islam and its teachings.

O servants of Allaah, fear Him. You should now that uprightness of the family is the reason of achieving integrity and joy of this life and the life to come while the corruption of the family causes disintegration in this life and the life to come. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Shall he then who knows that what has been revealed unto you (O Muhammad, peace and blessing be upon him,) from your Lord is the truth be like him who is blind? But it is only the men of understanding that pay heed. Those who fulfill the Covenant of Allaah and break not the Mithaq (bond, treaty, covenant); Those who join that which Allaah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they are good to their relatives and do not sever the bond of kinship), fear their Lord, and dread the terrible reckoning (i.e. abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which Allaah has forbidden and perform all kinds of good deeds which Allaah has ordained). And those who remain patient, seeking their Lord's Countenance, perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and spend out of that which We have bestowed on them, secretly and openly, and defend evil with good, for such there is a good end; 'Adn (Eden) Paradise (everlasting Gardens), which they shall enter and (also) those who acted righteously from among their fathers, and their wives, and their offspring. And angels shall enter unto them from every gate (saying): "Salamun 'Alaikum (peace be upon you) for that you persevered in patience! Excellent indeed is the final home!" And those who break the Covenant of Allaah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allaah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e. they will be far away from Allaah's Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e. Hell).} [Quran 13: 19-25]

May Allaah bless me and you with the good understanding of the Noble Quran.

 

 

Second Khutbah

My fellow Muslim, Fear Allaah The Almighty and He will help you to do good deeds and guard you against all prohibitions. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Truly, Allaah is with those who fear Him (keep their duty unto Him), and those who are Muhsinun (good-doers, - see the footnote of V.9:120).} [Quran 16: 128]

You should know that neglecting the teachings of Islam regarding the matters of the family distract it in this life and in the hereafter. Our children have not corrupted except due to the negligence of the parents and bad approach of binging them up. Disrespect that occurred from children to their parents has not occurred except that the parents has disrespected their parents before. Actually, the punishment is to fit the crime. This also may be due to the unfairness of the father through singling out some of his children with some money and kindness. Severing kinship ties was not occurred except due to enmity and competing for the worldly matters. Generally, such defects have not occurred in the structure of the family of today except due to the defect that has occurred in the religious commitment of the people.

Look at the non-Muslims societies, they live in the same way of animals, without links to connect them as Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Certainly! Allaah will admit those who believe (in the Oneness of Allaah Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, to Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise), while those who disbelieve enjoy themselves and eat as cattle eat, and the Fire will be their abode.} [Quran 47: 12] 

The strong among them does not feel pity for the weak, the young does not show respect to the old, even if that person is his mother or father. If someone of them get old and become unable to walk, they put him in the seniors’ home until he dies like the grieved animal while he may have a lot of children. When they neglected the religion of Allaah The Almighty, He The Almighty neglected them and when they forgot Allaah The Almighty, He The Exalted forgot them.      

O Servants of Allaah, fear Allaah The Almighty regarding yourselves and families, and try to draw lessons from the events occurred to others.

And know that the best speech if the Noble Quran of the Allaah The Almighty.

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